BURST
When Victoria-based real estate agent Krista Nugent posted a “dating application” on Instagram this month, asking friends and family to set her up on dates, she got a lot of likes and encouraging comments.
But perhaps the most surprising was one from Monica Lewinsky, who received international attention after then U.S. president Bill Clinton admitted having an affair with her when she was a White House intern in the mid to late 1990s.
“Rooting for you!!! Keep us posted,” wrote Lewinsky, who now works as an activist fighting cyberbullying.
Nugent’s post — which attracted more than 7,600 likes and 3,500 shares in three weeks — is a carousel of photos with information about Nugent and what she’s looking for in a partner.
She lists “qualifications” such as her independence and kind and caring nature, along with interests ranging from true-crime podcasts to concerts and drag shows.
She specifies what she’s looking for in a partner — someone who can communicate well and is “kind, steady and empathetic.”
“Confident enough to handle my big personality and even bigger family,” says the post.
As in any good application, Nugent jokingly provides references: “On time but a bit of a yapper,” says the one from her bosses, while “pays her fees every month” was her strata council’s contribution.
On the last slide, Nugent asks her community to share the post with anyone they think might be interested in dating her.
While she said it’s early in the process, she already has a few potential suitors, adding that the experience has been a positive one, if only because of the kindness of those interested in finding her a match.
The 39-year-old said she was hesitant to share the post on her professional Instagram account, worried that it might “muddy the waters” between her real estate clients and her social life.
She said her friends encouraged her to post it, saying that it wasn’t unprofessional, just open and honest.
“I don’t necessarily seek out this level of attention,” she said, adding that she’s been “blown away” by how far the post went.
“It’s quite vulnerable to put your love life right out there on the internet,” she said.
Tanille Geib, a Victoria-based intimacy coach, said the vulnerability of Nugent’s post is exactly what might make it successful.
“If we share our vulnerability in what we’re looking for, then it’s easier for people to understand us,” she said, adding that people are more likely to find someone with similar values if the match is vetted by someone they know.
Geib said she thinks Nugent’s post is “exciting,” adding that it’s not the first example she’s heard of people thinking outside the box when it comes to looking for love — a friend hands out dating “business cards” in public when someone catches their eye.
Geib started slow-burn dating, a themed matchmaking event where singles can mingle in a low-pressure, public environment.
She said that about 10 couples have met and fallen in love as a result of the events.
They have been running at the Royal B.C. Museum for about a year, and in smaller venues before that.
The next one — dubbed the “queer edition” — is happening on Oct. 23 at 7 p.m.
“People like to be vetted in community,” Geib said.
She added that dating apps are falling by the wayside as people search for more personal, in-person connections.
Dating coach and professional matchmaker Tamara Del Elis said the idea to ask friends and family to set you up in such a public way is “brilliant.”
“So much of the time, people are waiting to set you up with someone — they’re just waiting for the green light,” she said.
Del Elis said research shows people are more likely to be introduced to a romantic partner through what she calls “loose connections,” like friends of friends, which is why she said Nugent’s post is ideal.
“I think she has a really good shot.”