BURST
When grief hits, you have to move through it. Or dance through it.
Saschie Maclean-Magbanua, 36, learned just how healing dance can be after she lost her 17-year-old sister in a tragic motor vehicle accident in 2014.
Now she and her husband, Roman Magbanua, are opening their dance studio, and their hearts, to help those impacted by the Lapu Lapu Day festival tragedy, through a day of dance and fundraising for victims and their families.
On the night of the Lapu Lapu festival, Maclean-Magbanua and her husband, both members of Vancouver’s Filipino community, were out for dinner when the text messages started arriving asking if they were safe.
“We weren’t at the festival, but it is a place any of us might have been,” said Maclean-Magbanua. “For days afterward, everything felt so heavy in the community.”
For Maclean-Magbanua, the shock and horror were also devastatingly familiar.
Ten years ago, she was at a Friendsgiving dinner when she learned that her beloved sister Chantal, along with Chantal’s boyfriend Cody Teller, had been killed in a head-on collision on Highway 10 in Delta while on the way for Thanksgiving dinner with Teller’s family.
“When my mom’s call came through, she was just screaming and screaming,” said Maclean-Magbanua. “The police had come to her door.”
Maclean-Magbanua was the one who had to call her father, who was out of the country at the time.
The loss was incalculable, unacceptable, unbelievable. Her sister was part of her: “Chantal was a star athlete, rugby player,” said Maclean-Magbanua. “I was the cheerleader.”
Her heart was broken.
“Everything was so heavy,” she said.
Maclean-Magbanua spent hours on the couch, immobilized by grief, watching reruns of Grey’s Anatomy and eating “endless bags of BBQ potato chips” to numb her feelings.
Finally, thanks to the persistence of Victims Services, she agreed to go to grief counselling: “They kept calling, and I’m so glad I finally went.”
Grief counselling is something she recommends for those affected by the Lapu Lapu Day tragedy and anyone struggling with loss.
“When you are going through something so difficult there are people that can support and help you navigate through the situation,” said Maclean-Magbanua.
When the grief counsellor suggested she find a way to move her body, she decided to try a dance class a friend was giving to a Beyoncé song.
“When I went to the class I felt so consumed by the music and the movement. That class was the first hour since losing my sister that I had taken a break from my own mind,” said Maclean-Magbanua.
She felt present. And once again, she felt joy.
It was the beginning of her healing.
Eventually she started organizing pop-up classes for others. In 2019, she and her husband opened Formation Studio, a dance and fitness facility.
“Going through grief counselling was part of the reason that I could take such a heavy, dark energy and translate it into something that served me in a beautiful way,” said Maclean-Magbanua. “I look at movement as an opportunity to shift our state, to come together, to move through things together. We can release some of what we are going through.”
Although it was difficult to bring lightness and joy to her classes in the days after the Lapu Lapu Day tragedy, Maclean-Magbanua said being together in the dance class, and seeing the support of the wider community, helped in the days following the tragedy.
“We, as Filipinos, felt so seen by others,” she said.
For Maclean-Magbanua, bringing the community together to move and groove seemed like a natural fit, and a chance to help others tap into the healing she felt when she started moving to music again after losing her sister.
“Grief is different for every individual, and it can be overwhelming,” she said.
Maclean-Magbanua learned to cope by focusing on small moments.
“It’s almost like a hot teakettle. You don’t want to let what you are holding all out at once. Start with as much forgiveness and grace you can give yourself for what you are experiencing and know that it will evolve over time.”
Formation Studio, at 16 East 5th Ave. in Vancouver, will offer three classes Saturday geared toward people who have never danced before. Entry is by donation on a sliding scale from $14 to $25, and all funds raised will go toward Lapu Lapu-registered fundraisers that haven’t yet met their goals.